s h o r e
by unversed-unbirth
Summary: What else is between the sky and the sea?
1. Mistakes

"Aren't you two forgetting about me?"

What happened to my best friend? He's too far gone, with stupid Kairi hanging around _our_ island that _we _discovered way before she came along. What happened to the starry nights we would spend on the beach watching the sky when we were little? He smiled for me. Now he smiles for her. They don't care about Riku anymore, just each other. I saw that paopu in the Secret Place. I'm the third wheel now aren't I?

"So, I'm the only one working on the raft."

So, I could get as far away from here as possible. No-one knows how difficult it is to have to share the paopu tree that you and your best friend spent many suns just talking, and sometimes, in silence.

"Kairi's coming with us."

No she's not. I saw the shadows get her, and I wasn't all that sad about it. Good riddance, one part of me said. Sora's going to be crushed when he finds out, another said. I was hoping that he would take my hand, but he hesitated. Why? It's _her_ isn't it? I don't mean as much to him anymore, do I? I have no place in his heart. He won't even think of me when he goes to search for her. When I get pulled through the darkness, he can't see the tear leaking from one of my eyes. I've never cried—the emotion is so alien to me; I can't see straight as I fall, his face disappearing into oblivion. The tear is gone, but the emotion is still there. It's eating away at my soul, like I've made a huge mistake. Have I?

"Don't worry Kairi, you'll be safe with me."

I laughed bitterly. She won't be safe, I reek of darkness. Maybe that was a mistake. I glance back at her still form, calm as if she were merely sleeping. My eyes flick over to the orb where Sora has reached Wonderland. I see that girl—Alice. I whisper sweet lies to Kairi. She doesn't need to know what he feels, and I hate her in advance if she does. She's been stringing him along. I know that lustful look she gave me that one day, she craves cool, collected, and sexy Riku. That Riku died when his best friend didn't take his hand. That Riku died in the dark. That Riku never existed. Who is Riku?

"Pfft, you were just the delivery boy."

Breaking someone isn't as fun as it may seem. Their lifeless eyes, the lips moving with no sound, and most of all, those tears which were still alien to me. His new friends followed me, watching me twitch violently. The darkness seeped out of me, and changed me. Into "Dark Mode". Fuck that, I'm not a robot. But… I never feel much emotion… so am I… in some way?

"Oh yeah, what good has that weak little thing ever done for you?"

Hearts are so weak. Mine is gone. I don't have one, he took it.

"Well, we'll just see about that!"

Trying to kill someone is indescribable. I felt so mixed up, like a Rubix cube. We sparred like old times, and he beat me for once. I ran, with those alien tears threatening to leak out. No, I got away in time. They fell the other way, like they had been falling all my life. Dripping onto my heart, squeezing it painfully. Its not only girls who can feel that way. I run further, not stopping even when I feel a knife in my side. Not literally, I was out of breath. Ansem, he offered me a way out. I took the way out, but that was a mistake. Why not turn around and apologize. _Because, _my conscience tells me, _you tried to kill him and not even he could forgive you for that. _

"What should I do?" 


	2. Deep Dive

_Utter silence._

I can't hear them anymore. Their voices are nonexistent in my memory. I know what they say, but I can't hear them say it. I can't hear Sora say that his friends are his power, I can't hear Kairi ask me what I would do if I did get to another world. I can't hear any of it.

_The eyes will close._

Why keep them open? I can't see their faces; they are fading from my memory.

_A fragmented tale. _

No-one knows my story. No-one knows what I've gone through, to escape the darkness. I want nothing more than to be like Sora and Kairi, not knowing the full story, not knowing _everything_ that happened. I no longer remember why I chose to keep my memories; I only know that my best friend's memories are more important. His memories are his driving force, mine are a setback.

_A world without you. _

It must be peaceful, and full of light. It must have people who don't try to kill their friends because they were told that they had been replaced. It must have a smiling Kairi and a conscious Sora. They don't understand just how wonderful their lives would be without me. It's a troubling thought, but it is the truth. I've had enough lies to last a lifetime, and it's time I face the truth.

_Behind the darkness ≠ Door to the light._

Is there anything behind the darkness? Is there anything behind the light? My world is twisted beyond recognition. The further I look into it, the more lost and confused I become. So I stopped looking. I kept everyone else from looking too, with this blindfold.

_His voice… it's left me. _

_A world between ≠ A forgotten world _

My world is forgotten, and I will be too. Sora doesn't need me, neither does Kairi. My friends are better off without me, plaguing their lives with darkness and regret. I saw myself in Xion, and I'm glad that she made the right choice, unlike me. I remember the first few days after I met Sora—that is apart of my twisted world. I was silent, much like I am now. Sora did most of the talking, and I did most of the listening. Like I am now. I hear Roxas fight the Heartless, with the same driving force as Sora. He's running up the side of the tower, and I hear the static as his memories are displayed on the flat screen attached to the building.

_The third enemy ≠ Nobody_

Nobodies. They make my memory more painful—Zexion torturing me with an illusion of Sora. Roxas keeping Sora from ever waking up. Axel keeping Roxas from finding Sora. The torture isn't going to stop, so long as I have my memories and Nobodies don't exist.

_You are the source of all Heartless. _

No… no… it's not true.

_The Thirteenth Order_

The memories… it's their fault, all theirs—no it's mine. I jump, and catch Oblivion. I see memories of Xion, but I don't want to. Roxas is watching me, I can feel his eyes as I fall.

_Change. _

_The third key. _

_End of the world. _

I hate my memories.

_Paradise._

Is where Sora belongs. That's why I'm fighting Roxas, to wake my best friend up and make sure he goes home. With or without me, it doesn't matter, it only matters if he's happy. For once, I'm defeated. I don't know why Roxas has the Keyblade, let alone _two_ of them. He's telling me to shut up, and swings one of the Keyblades at me. I quickly get up and knock him back with the other Keyblade. I didn't think I'd still be able to wield one.


End file.
